I don't wanna be alone It's so hard for me to trust you, baby I'm around you, baby I got so much on me 40, I'd drown you, baby I don't wanna drown you, baby I just wanna love you, baby I got too much for me Oh my God, I'm so weak Holy fuck, I'm lonely.
I think im losing weight. I'm hungry but I cant eat more than 2 bites. I've avoided everything i need to do. Cant find a job, cant do my work, cant even text her. I know she'll find me out sooner or later, if not already. I cant even get hard anymore. I'm so fucked up right now. I shouldn't be, I have no reason to be, and I think im doing it to myself, but what else can I do? I almost fell asleep outside today, I kinda wish i did, then i could wake up and the day would be over. The worst part is i want to see her again. hopefully in a few hours ill feel better, it always seems this part of the day is so much worse than the rest. Everyday i go insane for 2 hours, then i can be normal again, but it never feels like that during those hours. I know this isnt unique. Life is perpetual and necessary embarrassment and anxiety, but right now it just seems impossible. I shouldnt feel shame, but i do. I know its wrong. I make a big deal out of things i shouldn't. I just cant understand why she'd want to see me afterwards. I dont want to be a sad sack of shit
^ honestly dude im so fucking stupid, i fucking hate my life, this shit sucks i wish shit was as simple i expressed above. fuck this shit honestly. i cant fucking stand these people or myself. these girls at dinner next to me are either fucking lying or horrible. same with the dudes behind me. fuck this shit. im honestly the stupidest motherfucker on earth holy shit. I cant stand myself anymore and neither should anyone else, this shit sucks. being a sad piece of shit sucks. being here fucking sucks
i was made to have a body